I really appreciate you writing on this topic which I feel is so often ignored. It is one of those things which seems to be put in the 'too hard basket', as stopping flying is seen as a step too far for some people to take.
I can't speak for other countries but here in Australia international travel is seen as a right. The gap year travelling around the world, the lengthy trips through Europe, they are all viewed as a 'right of passage' for our younger generation and then again on retirement. The size of our country and the distance between cities means people regularly fly for weekends, business trips or interstate holidays multiple times a year. The travel industry is huge and advertising is everywhere.
On a personal level I find it hard to talk to people about this as I don't want to sound 'preachy' or for people to take it as a personal criticism. One example of telling someone why I choose not to fly results in the common response, "but we have to see the world". And, I think this is the challenge we are dealing with. We need to change our values. We need to understand the dire climate situation we are facing. We need to acknowledge that our perceived 'rights' only exist because of our privilege. We need to accept that this obsession with 'seeing the world', overseas holidays and travel is only very recent. For 99.9% of human history we were able to live quite happily while limiting travel to wherever we could reach by foot, horse, car, boat, train etc.
It's a really fascinating topic in relation to psychology - the power of advertising and the ability of the human mind to justify decisions which we feel benefit us.
Thank you, and thank you for your comment and reflections!
Yes, this is a topic that triggers so much, and I definitely recognize a lot from what you're writing over here in Sweden as well (taking the gap year, feeling that it's our "right" to fly, all the airline ads). And not the least how tricky it is to talk about it, how it triggers a lot. And I think that's part of the reason why a strategy of actively shaming is neither helpful, nor necessary - in a hot and affective topic we can trust that feelings will arise, and that if we want to reach each other we need to tread lightly, but also (as always) look at how to push for structural change.
I also appreciate how different it is to live in Australia compared to Europe, where we have the possibility of traveling to numerous countries by train. It's 3 hours by train between Sweden's two biggest cities, but 65 hours by train between Perth and Sydney (I've done that train ride once!). So there's just so much to consider on this topic (and I'm sure we'll come back to it in future posts), but needless to say: we need to drastically reduce air travel, one way or another!
Thank you for writing about flying. It has been a problematic area for me so it is helpful to read your observations, research and comments. I feel like you outlined in your opening statement. I don't fly but have many friends who do and that is often accompanied to going to a resort somewhere for a holiday in some 3rd world country. They are also people who have the financial means to do what they want. I don't have the courage to challenge these friends. Some of them also travel to visit a relative which to me is a different category, which is hard to reconcile as well. I read the notes below and agree with them - more conversation please. !
Thank you! And thank you for your comment - I find that flying triggers so much, whether you're a person still flying or someone who's stopped (or decreased) travelling by air. It's one of the most common thing that people bring up with us: How do I deal with people around me still flying? And I think that part of what makes it so hard is the feeling of being left alone with the steps you've taken yourself, and that another part has to do with flying representing something so very privileged that's more most people isn't a necessity but a mere luxury. I'm sure we'll come back to this topic in future post since there's for sure a lot more to say about it!
Sep 6, 2023·edited Sep 6, 2023Liked by Frida Hylander
Hi Frida! Great newsletter, as usual. Thank you. I still fly and I am very ashamed of it. It is some sort of cognitive dissonance I believe - I am doing something that I think is really bad, but do it anyway, and feel terrible about it.
The reason I fly is because I live abroad and I deeply miss my hometown, family and friends. On one end, I have some sort of primary need to visit home once in a while. On the other end, I hate myself for doing such a selfish and destructive act. Even more sadly I need to cross an ocean. I've decided to visit home only once every 2 years, which is more or less my mental health limit. However, this is a very imperfect solution. The impact of a transatlantic flight every 2 years is still enormous and unacceptable, and I cannot convince my mom not to come visit me, which adds to the emissions that I am responsible for.
Now I have a family of my own in my new country. Even though I contemplate the idea of moving back home, it is likely that it will take me a few years to decide. And even if we move, it is likely that my girlfriend will then face the same dilemma. I don't know what to do or think. I want to quit flying but I want to be able to meet with my friends and family once in a while, ideally before I hit some sort of mental health breakdown. But flying makes me feel depressed too. If I had been more conscious and knowledgeable about the environmental crisis earlier in my life, I would have done everything not to fall in love with someone that lives far away. But I can't go back in time.
I am aware that this makes me a privileged person amongst an already privileged group of people. I am not here to complain and my apologies if it sounds like it. I just wonder, perhaps you have been in contact with expats who experience a similar situation. I would be very curious to know how they cope. Any advice is welcomed! I need to solve this issue someday, since I can't go on like that forever.
Thank you for reading! And apologies for this late reply to your comment - things have been a little hectic in the past few weeks.
I can relate to what you're writing, and I would say that this is such a common experience amongst people who struggle with staying on the ground (I've had a lot of conversations about this with expats, therapy clients, other climate engaged people): the dissonance of knowing the climate impacts of airtravel and the very human longing for one's loved ones. There really is no easy answer or solution here. I think that what you're writing about "had I known about the environmental crisis earlier on" really hits a nerve. For many of us in privileged countries, we were brought up with the message "the world is at your feet, with endless possibilities". One of those possibilities being travelling across the globe and meeting someone to fall in love with. Noone told us back then about the (environmental) price we all eventually would have to pay for those possibilities. And we can't go back in time, we can't unfall in love on command, or undo the creation of our own children born in a country miles away from our original home. It's so very human to feel that dissonance and trying to find a solution that allows us to not hurt the environment at the same time as we not hurt our loved ones our ourselves.
I think my advice here is to acknowledge that this situation is hard, and one that doesn't have an easy solution. To try and feel compassion towards yourself in that struggle. But also to practice zooming out and looking at the big picture and at the things that you have the possibility of doing and changing, that goes beyond your own consumer choices. You are in the situation you are in, which at the moment won't change, and it might mean that sometimes you'll get on a plane to go see your family. But there are so many other things that you can do to work for a just and sustainable world, that might make a bigger difference than those plane trips. I'm not saying "never mind those emissions of your own", but I am saying that if we get too stuck in those situations we might fail to see the bigger picture and the possibility we have to keep acting for change.
This is hard, you deserve compassion in that struggle, you might do things that at the same time goes in line with your values (nurturing your relationship to your relatives) and against your values (flying), you have the possibility of keep acting to change this unsustainable system that we live in, you are not alone in these struggles.
I hear you! Over the summer I've caught up with several of my friends who are deeply aware of the climate crisis, express that flying is unsustainable, but continue to fly themselves. There's a lot to say about this, and there wasn't really room for everything in this post - but it's definitely a topic for a future one. Many are struggling with how to deal with that.
Very cool to hear that there are over 1000 subscribers! Wow!
This topic of whether 'shame' is important in behavioral change has been something we have discussed in my circles and the report you mentioned was one reason we thought shame wasn't so important - so I really appreciate the point you make about how the way we formulate the reasons in hindsight might be different!!
Coming from a social media activist perspective, I actually think there is a role in public 'shaming' (or critiquing) high profile flyers eg Leonardo Dicaprio taking private jets etc. But totally agree that shaming private persons personally can just lead to conflict and potential backlash.
Maybe a future topic that would be interesting to hear about on this topic is how to navigate having a conversation about this (seems to be a repeated notion also in some of the other comments?)
I really appreciate you writing on this topic which I feel is so often ignored. It is one of those things which seems to be put in the 'too hard basket', as stopping flying is seen as a step too far for some people to take.
I can't speak for other countries but here in Australia international travel is seen as a right. The gap year travelling around the world, the lengthy trips through Europe, they are all viewed as a 'right of passage' for our younger generation and then again on retirement. The size of our country and the distance between cities means people regularly fly for weekends, business trips or interstate holidays multiple times a year. The travel industry is huge and advertising is everywhere.
On a personal level I find it hard to talk to people about this as I don't want to sound 'preachy' or for people to take it as a personal criticism. One example of telling someone why I choose not to fly results in the common response, "but we have to see the world". And, I think this is the challenge we are dealing with. We need to change our values. We need to understand the dire climate situation we are facing. We need to acknowledge that our perceived 'rights' only exist because of our privilege. We need to accept that this obsession with 'seeing the world', overseas holidays and travel is only very recent. For 99.9% of human history we were able to live quite happily while limiting travel to wherever we could reach by foot, horse, car, boat, train etc.
It's a really fascinating topic in relation to psychology - the power of advertising and the ability of the human mind to justify decisions which we feel benefit us.
Thank you!
Thank you, and thank you for your comment and reflections!
Yes, this is a topic that triggers so much, and I definitely recognize a lot from what you're writing over here in Sweden as well (taking the gap year, feeling that it's our "right" to fly, all the airline ads). And not the least how tricky it is to talk about it, how it triggers a lot. And I think that's part of the reason why a strategy of actively shaming is neither helpful, nor necessary - in a hot and affective topic we can trust that feelings will arise, and that if we want to reach each other we need to tread lightly, but also (as always) look at how to push for structural change.
I also appreciate how different it is to live in Australia compared to Europe, where we have the possibility of traveling to numerous countries by train. It's 3 hours by train between Sweden's two biggest cities, but 65 hours by train between Perth and Sydney (I've done that train ride once!). So there's just so much to consider on this topic (and I'm sure we'll come back to it in future posts), but needless to say: we need to drastically reduce air travel, one way or another!
Thank you for writing about flying. It has been a problematic area for me so it is helpful to read your observations, research and comments. I feel like you outlined in your opening statement. I don't fly but have many friends who do and that is often accompanied to going to a resort somewhere for a holiday in some 3rd world country. They are also people who have the financial means to do what they want. I don't have the courage to challenge these friends. Some of them also travel to visit a relative which to me is a different category, which is hard to reconcile as well. I read the notes below and agree with them - more conversation please. !
Thank you! And thank you for your comment - I find that flying triggers so much, whether you're a person still flying or someone who's stopped (or decreased) travelling by air. It's one of the most common thing that people bring up with us: How do I deal with people around me still flying? And I think that part of what makes it so hard is the feeling of being left alone with the steps you've taken yourself, and that another part has to do with flying representing something so very privileged that's more most people isn't a necessity but a mere luxury. I'm sure we'll come back to this topic in future post since there's for sure a lot more to say about it!
Hi Frida! Great newsletter, as usual. Thank you. I still fly and I am very ashamed of it. It is some sort of cognitive dissonance I believe - I am doing something that I think is really bad, but do it anyway, and feel terrible about it.
The reason I fly is because I live abroad and I deeply miss my hometown, family and friends. On one end, I have some sort of primary need to visit home once in a while. On the other end, I hate myself for doing such a selfish and destructive act. Even more sadly I need to cross an ocean. I've decided to visit home only once every 2 years, which is more or less my mental health limit. However, this is a very imperfect solution. The impact of a transatlantic flight every 2 years is still enormous and unacceptable, and I cannot convince my mom not to come visit me, which adds to the emissions that I am responsible for.
Now I have a family of my own in my new country. Even though I contemplate the idea of moving back home, it is likely that it will take me a few years to decide. And even if we move, it is likely that my girlfriend will then face the same dilemma. I don't know what to do or think. I want to quit flying but I want to be able to meet with my friends and family once in a while, ideally before I hit some sort of mental health breakdown. But flying makes me feel depressed too. If I had been more conscious and knowledgeable about the environmental crisis earlier in my life, I would have done everything not to fall in love with someone that lives far away. But I can't go back in time.
I am aware that this makes me a privileged person amongst an already privileged group of people. I am not here to complain and my apologies if it sounds like it. I just wonder, perhaps you have been in contact with expats who experience a similar situation. I would be very curious to know how they cope. Any advice is welcomed! I need to solve this issue someday, since I can't go on like that forever.
Thank you for reading! And apologies for this late reply to your comment - things have been a little hectic in the past few weeks.
I can relate to what you're writing, and I would say that this is such a common experience amongst people who struggle with staying on the ground (I've had a lot of conversations about this with expats, therapy clients, other climate engaged people): the dissonance of knowing the climate impacts of airtravel and the very human longing for one's loved ones. There really is no easy answer or solution here. I think that what you're writing about "had I known about the environmental crisis earlier on" really hits a nerve. For many of us in privileged countries, we were brought up with the message "the world is at your feet, with endless possibilities". One of those possibilities being travelling across the globe and meeting someone to fall in love with. Noone told us back then about the (environmental) price we all eventually would have to pay for those possibilities. And we can't go back in time, we can't unfall in love on command, or undo the creation of our own children born in a country miles away from our original home. It's so very human to feel that dissonance and trying to find a solution that allows us to not hurt the environment at the same time as we not hurt our loved ones our ourselves.
I think my advice here is to acknowledge that this situation is hard, and one that doesn't have an easy solution. To try and feel compassion towards yourself in that struggle. But also to practice zooming out and looking at the big picture and at the things that you have the possibility of doing and changing, that goes beyond your own consumer choices. You are in the situation you are in, which at the moment won't change, and it might mean that sometimes you'll get on a plane to go see your family. But there are so many other things that you can do to work for a just and sustainable world, that might make a bigger difference than those plane trips. I'm not saying "never mind those emissions of your own", but I am saying that if we get too stuck in those situations we might fail to see the bigger picture and the possibility we have to keep acting for change.
This is hard, you deserve compassion in that struggle, you might do things that at the same time goes in line with your values (nurturing your relationship to your relatives) and against your values (flying), you have the possibility of keep acting to change this unsustainable system that we live in, you are not alone in these struggles.
All of that is possible at the same time.
Now talk about what we should do when we have FRIENDS who won't stop flying despite their progressive values and politics?
I hear you! Over the summer I've caught up with several of my friends who are deeply aware of the climate crisis, express that flying is unsustainable, but continue to fly themselves. There's a lot to say about this, and there wasn't really room for everything in this post - but it's definitely a topic for a future one. Many are struggling with how to deal with that.
Very cool to hear that there are over 1000 subscribers! Wow!
This topic of whether 'shame' is important in behavioral change has been something we have discussed in my circles and the report you mentioned was one reason we thought shame wasn't so important - so I really appreciate the point you make about how the way we formulate the reasons in hindsight might be different!!
Coming from a social media activist perspective, I actually think there is a role in public 'shaming' (or critiquing) high profile flyers eg Leonardo Dicaprio taking private jets etc. But totally agree that shaming private persons personally can just lead to conflict and potential backlash.
Maybe a future topic that would be interesting to hear about on this topic is how to navigate having a conversation about this (seems to be a repeated notion also in some of the other comments?)